From On Hold To Eternity
have you ever made a call and been placed on hold for what seemed like an eternity? it’s happened to me many times, but the last time it happened it was different. at first everything seemed normal. i dialed the number, was told to hold for a moment and then the muzak started, designed to placate my savage soul while i wait for someone to answer my call. at first it was innocuous enough, somewhat groovy, happy music music with all the extremes tidily trimmed. as i was grooving along and not really paying attention to the time, 20 minutes slipped past and i started getting kinda antsy and bored of waiting around. it was really starting to get to me. now as this was happening the music playing on the end of the line started changing to fit my mood. i didn’t even notice it happening but as an apathetic feeling started coming over me, the music started becoming more formless. i had been waiting so long that the very concept of time began losing all meaning. i was floating in a void where the muzak had melted away and faraway sounds from ancient telephone lines started peaking through. i was floating free, waiting for someone, anyone, to answer my call. after some more time passed i started getting comfortable with this new timeless freedom and the music slowly started coming back to life. at this point i was feeling a little bit washed out from being on the phone for so long so i closed my eyes and just listened. eventually the music stopped and i just hung up, having completely forgotten why i made the call in the first place. luckily i record all my telephone calls for quality assurance purposes and can present to you the most transcendental hold muzak i have ever heard.
photo : Phase Holden Topple
Podcast: Download
Subscribe: iTunes | Android | RSS
Tracklist:
- Keep It Happy – Nick Perito – MUZAK (1971)
- Canty – Orchestra Cometa – Cometa Edizioni Musicali (1976/2016)
- Lucky Girl – Take Six – Music De Wolfe (1980)
- Beautiful People – Geoff Bastow – Programme Music / JW Music Library / Be With Records (1975/2024)
- We’ve Only Just Begun – Grant Green – Blue Note (1971/2024)
- Analcolico – Giovanni Tommaso – SR Records / Sonor Music Editions (1972/2019)
- Swelling Itchy Brain (EZ Listening Muzak Version) – Devo – Club Devo / Futurismo (1981/2016)
- Temperament VII – Ragnar Grippe – BIS (1982)
- excerpt from Mundus Intellectualis – Nicole Lachartre – Metaphon (1973/2023)
- Winter Hours – The Advisory Circle – Ghost Box (2014)
- Über Den Wolken – Hans-Joachim Roedelius – Venture / Bureau B (1987/2011)
- excerpt from Mundus Intellectualis – Nicole Lachartre – Metaphon (1973/2023)
- Water Boy – Clara Rockmore & Nadia Reisenberg – Bridge Records / Mississippi Records (1975/2006/2021)
- Contemplation – Master Wilburn Burchette – Burchette Brothers / Numero Group (1975/2024)
- excerpt from Mundus Intellectualis – Nicole Lachartre – Metaphon (1973/2023)
- Waiting Montage – Ennio Morricone – Applause Records / Dagored (1982/2008)
- Moody You – Norman Candler – Sonoton / Be With Records (1980/2023)
- Elevator Up – Disconscious – Tinnitus Records / Mental Groove Records / Musique Pour La Danse (2013/2023)
- Eternity – Alan Hawkshaw – Bruton Music / Ace (1979/2024)
- excerpt from Mundus Intellectualis – Nicole Lachartre – Metaphon (1973/2023)